


This Stiles is Bananas

by Vyxyn



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Derek Hale has a Stiles Stilinski fixation, Hale family are still werewolves, M/M, Mentions of blow jobs, Stiles Stilinski Has an Oral Fixation, Stiles loves bananas, The Hale Family Live, it's all about the bananas, mentions of Kate Argent, no actual porn but mentions of porn, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-01-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 18:17:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5712277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vyxyn/pseuds/Vyxyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gorgeous New Guy starts at Beacon Hills High School, and drives Derek Hale absolutely bonkers.</p>
<p>All because of a piece of fruit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Stiles is Bananas

**Author's Note:**

> So I was walking to the train station last night, and I saw this gorgeous guy eating a banana, and I thought DAYUM. And then I thought STEREK. And so I wrote this. 
> 
> All the Hales live, because I love them. Stiles is the new guy, because why not?
> 
> This is completely unbeated. 
> 
> Feel free to leave a comment, it makes me warm a fuzzy :)

Derek meanders through the hallways at Beacon Hills High School, on the first day, of the first semester of his senior year. To every greeting he gets, he nods his head in acknowledgement, to every clap on the back, he shoots out a scowl, to every “Hi Derek” he gets from a cheerleader, he responds with a small smile.

Derek hates school. Well, not  _ really _ school, he just hates people. Not  _ all  _ people, just people who aren’t in his friend group. There’s Erica and Boyd, the most loved up couple he’s ever known. Scott and Allison, the most sickly, loved up couple he’s ever known. Jackson and Lydia, the most angsty, love up couple he’s ever known. There’s Isaac, who seems to be really close to Scott and Allison, and what’s even with that? Derek tries to remind himself to bring that up with Isaac later. And then there’s his little sister Cora, who although is two years younger than Derek, hangs out with Derek and his friends, along with her new girlfriend Kira. 

And then there’s Derek. Derek who has been single since he was sixteen years old, when the super-disaster known as Kate Argent, came and ripped Derek’s still-beating heart out of his chest, doused it in fuel, and set it alight. But we won’t talk about that bitch.

But despite his hatred of those not in his social group, and his horrific dating history, Derek is feeling kind of … not himself. All his friends are in relationships, and there most definitely is something going on with Isaac judging by the Joker-esque smile on his face as he passes him in the hall, that screams I’M GETTING LAID. Definitely need to have words with him later. So Derek feels a little out of sorts, grumpier than normal, and he can feel his eyebrows telling everyone to fuck off. Still, they keep on greeting him.

The day feels like it’s dragging. He’s really looking forward to lunch time, as all his friends will be all together for the first time in a month. Trying to co-ordinate social things over the summer, that everyone could get to, actually proved difficult, as some of them had summer jobs, or were vacationing in Europe (thanks very much Jackson and Lydia). They slowly dribble in, exchanging hugs, and hi-fives, Derek’s eyebrows reset from fuck off mode, and they all casually sit down and start eating, chatting, and catching up with each other. 

A conversation about lacrosse gets interrupted by an almighty crash, and the whole cafeteria swivels towards the noise. Standing there is a guy Derek has never seen before, brown hair that looks like he’s just woken up, eyes the colour of amber, and moles splattered across his cheek. Derek swallows. The new guy, who has just embarrassed himself in front of the entire cafeteria, is gorgeous. Like slap you in the face, douse yourself in ice water, walk over fiery hot coals, gorgeous.

New guy looks down at what was his lunch, shakes his head, then looks up to see everyone still looking at him. He waves, “Yep, hi, I’m the new guy. Excuse me while I go drown myself in the coleslaw.”

While the rest of the cafeteria laughs, and goes back to their conversations, Derek is completely frozen. He watches Gorgeous New Guy bend down to start picking up the remains of his lunch, wiping up the dropped food, and placing it in the bin. He watches as Gorgeous New Guy goes to stand back in line, but is called over by the lunch lady, who hands him a new tray of food. Derek’s werewolf ears hear the words of thanks, and the sarcastic “Let’s hope I actually get to eat my lunch this time!” He watches at Gorgeous New Guy sits down at the same table, takes a deep breath, and starts to eat.

Next minute he’s being slapped on the arm by Isaac. “Hello? Derek? Are you there?”

Derek growls. “Don’t slap me.”

Isaac laughs. “Where did you go man? You looked all floaty and shit.” 

“What? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Scott agrees. “You totally look spaced out. What were you looking at?” 

Everyone at the table turns to where Derek was looking. Shit. Damn. Bugger. Blast. And super fuck.

“You staring at the new guy Hale? Really?” Jackson has always had a way with people. NOT.

Isaac tilts his head. “He’s kinda cute in a ‘I woke up like this’ way.”

Jackson snorts. Lydia slaps him. “Now Jackson, not everyone can have a love story like ours.”

Isaac then snorts. “Some love story. How many times have you broken up and gotten back together? I’m pretty sure the tally is at five. And that’s just this year.”

“At least I’m in a relationship Lahey.”   
  
Isaac blushes the colour of fairy floss. So does Scott. AND Allison. WHAT??? “Who says I’m not in a relationship?"

Jackson snorts again. Derek would hear what Jackson was saying if he wasn’t back to staring at Gorgeous New Guy, who he’s just watched open his soda, take a bite out of his sandwich, and haphazardly wipe his mouth with the back of his hand.

_ Fuck his fingers are long. _

Derek rubs his face, trying to focus on the people at his table, and his lunch on his own tray, instead of Gorgeous New Guy. Scott leans over and whispers, “His name is Stiles Stilinski. He’s in my econ class. His dad’s the Sheriff. You should go talk to him!”

“Shush Scott. Not here. Tell me later.”

“I just told you now! It’s no big deal dude. He’s cute, and he’s just moved here from Portland. You should go talk to him!”

Derek just shakes his head at Scott, and begins to eat his lunch. Five minutes later, Derek takes a chance, looking back at Gorgeous New Guy.

_ Fuck me sideways … _

There he is eating a banana like he’s starring in a porn film. Derek feels his eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. He feels all the blood rush out of his face and further south. His hands start shaking, and he just can’t bring himself to stop watching Gorgeous New Guy, sorry,  _ Stiles,  _ eat his banana.

Here’s the thing, Stiles could eat this banana in a complete non-porn way. After peeling it, he could break off chunks and eat it like that. He could cut it up and stick it in some yoghurt, or smoosh it up and have a peanut butter and banana sandwich. But he’s not. He’s peeled the banana, and has taken a bite. This of course draws Derek’s attention to Stiles’ lips, with are porn to begin with, all pink and plump, and begging to be sucked. But add a phallic looking banana to the mix?

Derek is fifty shades of screwed.

He pretends that he’s forgotten something super important, grabs his bag, mumbles something incoherent, and makes a run for it. He finds himself running through the halls, and outside to the parking lot, where he opens the door of the Camaro, throws himself in, and almost wolfs out.

Almost.

Derek must have been holding his breath, and as he releases it, takes a deep breath in, his head is swimming, and his hands are death-gripping the steering wheel. He can feel his phone vibrating in his pocket, but until he can get his shit together, he’s not going to be able to speak to anyone.

He finally calms down. His heart rate has slowed, he’s no longer shaking, and the half chub he sprung in the cafeteria has finally diminished.

Derek hopes and prays that this is the only time Stiles has a banana at school.

*****

The universe hates Derek. All the deities hate him too. The very next day, Derek comes to the cafeteria late after being held back by Mr Harris, just in time for Stiles to begin his fellatio practice on a piece of fruit.

“Hey Scott, mind if we change seats? My eyes are a bit sensitive to light today, so looking outside hurts.”

Scott looks next to him at Allison, then Isaac, then looks up at Derek. “But dude. I’m comfortable here”. emphasizing the comfortable, and raising his eyebrows as a way off underlining, italicizing and bolding his statement.

“Fine.”

It doesn’t take long for Derek to get sucked back into the banana vortex. He watches as Stiles slowly takes a bit, then chews. He focuses on the long fingers wrapped around the base of the banana. Derek is totally not thinking about those fingers being wrapped around his cock. Not at all.

Much.

Stiles finally finishes his banana, puts the peel down, then licks his fingers.

_ Oh for fucks sake. _

Derek manages somehow to pull his eyes away from Stiles, long enough to each his lunch, have a quick conversation about algebra, and then makes his excuses and leaves. He hides in the male toilets trying so hard not rub one out. Because ew, he's a school and that would be gross.

*****

This carries on for  _ weeks _ , six weeks to be exact, until Derek is at breaking point. He’s almost tempted to tell his mom that he’s got some super bug that he doesn’t want to spread to his friends, and Talia just looks at Derek like he just told her he likes to wear pepperoni pizza for underwear. “Derek, do I need to remind you that werewolves don’t get sick?”

Nope, she really doesn’t.

What pushes Derek right over the edge though, is when instead of taking a bite of the banana, he leaves the banana in his mouth for thirty seconds, then takes a bite. Stiles’ lips are wrapped around the banana, holding it firmly in place. It pushes his lips up and out, making them appear pinker, fuller, almost ripe, and Derek can picture those lips wrapped around his dick …

That’s it. Derek slams down his sandwich, and storms across the cafeteria. He gets to Stiles, grabs his arm, and drags him out the door to the courtyard.

“Dude! What the fuck are you doing? I was having my lunch!!”

Derek, still holding onto Stiles, grits his teeth. Taking a deep breath, he starts to speak.

“I’m well aware you were having your lunch. I’ve watched you every fucking day for the last six fucking weeks, eat that banana like it’s a cock, and it’s driving me crazy. I can’t do anything else while you’re eating that damn thing. And your fingers! Oh my god your fingers. You make me think all kinds of sexy things while I’m at school, like how it would feel if you were on your knees before me, with my entire cock in your mouth. I wonder what that tongue of yours could do. That’s not stuff I want to be thinking at school ok?”

Stiles just blinks. He clears his throat. “Well, you’d have to take me on a date first.”

Derek twitches. “I’m sorry, what?”

“A date? You know, when two people like each other, one of them asks the other one out, they say yes, and they go out for dinner or something?”

“I know what a date is Stiles.”

“Of course. But what I’m saying is, that you would need to take me on a date first, or a couple anyway. I don’t tend to get on my knees and suck someone off if I’m not dating them.”

“Wait, you want to suck my cock?”   
  
Stiles scoffs. “Fuck yeah. Have you seen yourself? You are the best looking guy I’ve ever seen, and I went to school in Portland with a guy that looks like Captain America. I’ve watched you too you know. How are you with your friends, I’ve seen you play lacrosse. I watched that time when that junior fell over in the hall, and you stopped to help her up, and made sure she was ok. I’m crushing big time big guy.”

Derek finally releases his grip on Stiles arm. “You like me?”

Stiles smiles, and Derek’s heart tries to fly out his chest. “Heaps dude. Heaps.”

It’s Derek’s turn to smile. “So. Um, are you free this Friday? For a date?”

“I sure am. And I’d love to. Go on a date with you. And other stuff too. Eventually of course. I don’t tend to put out on the first date, but you know. Stranger things have happened.”

Derek laughs. “We should probably head back inside. I feel like a million eyes are boring into the back of my skull.”

“That’s because there are dude.”

Derek turns around, and walks back into the cafeteria, side by side with Stiles. He picks up Stiles lunch tray, “Grab your bag. No more sitting alone for you.”

With a smile that Derek can only describe as luminous, Stiles grabs his stuff, and follows Derek to the table. Derek introduces Stiles to everyone, and they sit down to finish off their lunch break.

*****

That Friday night, Derek takes Stiles out on their first of a lifetime of dates.

Stiles totally puts out, and puts his banana fellatio skills to good use.

Turns out Isaac is dating Allison. And Scott. At the same time, and altogether. They've got this three way thing happening.

And Derek and Stiles? They are more loved up than all their friends put together.


End file.
